Wholesome? Check. Wiggly? Always. Threat to traditional values? You know it.

This mashes up two of Utah’s most iconic exports: green Jello and the ever-feared gay agenda. Because nothing terrifies a culture built on casseroles and conformity more than a dessert that jiggles and demands justice.

Serve chilled and garnished with petty defiance.



• 100% certified organic cotton 3/1 twill

• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (272 g/m²)

• Dimensions: 16″ × 14 ½″ × 5″ (40.6 cm × 35.6 cm × 12.7 cm)

• Weight limit: 30 lbs (13.6 kg)

• 1″ (2.5 cm) wide dual straps, 24.5″ (62.2 cm) length

• Open main compartment